Help Desk Problems :))
Feb. 5th, 2008 11:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leikaзамечательные реальные беседы с клиентами в центрах телефонной поддержки :)
> Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
> through to enquiries, can you help?".
> Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
> Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
> Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
> about".
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states
> that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
> telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
> travelling in Australia ?"
>
> Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
> "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to
> the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Directory Enquiries
>
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff
> please".
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
> correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
> told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
> Customer: "OK".
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
> you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
> that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
> back again?".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.
> I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from
> the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
> customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
> however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record
> these conversations!):
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
> Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you Bought it from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
> Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
> through to enquiries, can you help?".
> Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
> Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
> Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Samsung Electronics
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
> about".
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states
> that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
> telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> RAC Motoring Services
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
> travelling in Australia ?"
>
> Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
> "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to
> the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Directory Enquiries
>
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff
> please".
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
> correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
> told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
> Customer: "OK".
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No".
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
> you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
> that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
> back again?".
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.
> I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from
> the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
> customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
> however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record
> these conversations!):
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared."
> Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
> Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
> Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
> was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you Bought it from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
